Forum Forrest was a small part of the larger kingdom of Forum Land which was ruled by a terrible Wicked Queen also known to some as the The Admin. She abused her subjects with swift wielded warnings, tyrannical forum filters that changed their language to one that couldn’t be understood, and had been known to banish subjects without just cause at the drop of her witch’s hat.  Her power was total in Forum Land and her decrees were fast and furious; many in the land lived in great fear of her wrath.

The Wicked Queen was aided in her thirst for being a busy body and knowing everything by a Magic Mirror, a.k.a The Narcissist. People used to think the magic mirror was good, but this story teller begs to differ. The Magic Mirror is known for telling the truth alright, but only its own truth in its own mind. Using amazingly big words, the Magic Mirror posted banter that made people’s heads ache. Even if you took out a dictionary and tried to decipher the language used by the Magic Mirror, it still didn’t make sense. See, the Magic Mirror was so in love with itself that it had to make everyone else feel stupid and ugly to fulfill its destiny of being the most all-knowing and beautiful thing in the kingdom.

As the wicked Queen was kept very busy with kingdom duties and conversing with her cohort, the Magic Mirror, the dwarves lived fairly in peace and quiet away from her prying eye, for the most part.  They passed their days with amusement, arguments, and not a little suspicion of strangers who might drop in, until one day they met someone who would forever change their lives.  It was The Princess, known to all as Snow White for her purity and sweetness.  She was the step-daughter of the wicked Queen Admin and was escaping an attempted ban from the queen who was starting to take notice of her beauty and the love of the forum community members. Of course, it was actually the Magic Mirror who had brought Snow White to the attention of the Wicked Queen. He had recently began to hate Snow White because she had pointed out, even though nicely and with musical notes, that something he posted didn’t quite make sense. He was of course enraged and vowed vengeance. 

Although the forum Queen had used all her powers to ensure the death of Snow White when she banned her IP, Snow White with the help of a kind huntsman had obtained a new IP for herself and had fled to the sub forums of Forum Forest to hide out in secrecy. Everyone else in Forum Land lived to protect Snow White, as she can do no wrong in their eyes, and the dwarves who had spied on her in years past were under the same spell. Gifted, talented and beloved, they welcomed her into their circle and would fight to the teeth to protect her honor and purity.

Being loving in heart and resigned to the fate of being forced to the sub forums, Snow White immediately got busy cleaning up Forum Forest and assessing the dwarves around her. She was surprised to see that the dwarves here were not all that different from the dwarfs that lived in Forum Land. In fact looking around she immediately saw the differences of each and every one, and identified the type of dwarf they were.

(The Ring Leader) - Doc was considered the leader of the seven dwarves as all of them seem to follow his words and listen closely to what he had to say at all times. He had been in Forum Forest so long he couldn’t remember any place before. His tendency was to be the one to try and keep threads organized, fight off the Drama Dragon and other unwanted guests, should they appear.  He always helped point others conversations to their appropriate tree in the forest.  If too much time lapses he was usually the one to look for recent and funny news headings and share it with the residents of the forest to keep conversation moving.

(The Ass) - Grumpy was in a league of his own in the forest. In fact, to this date nobody seems to understand how he is still allowed to live in peace here, because peace is not what he instilled. He had even been banned by the Wicked Queen a few times, but always seemed to talk his way back in through some supernatural way, currently unbeknownst to anyone else. Grumpy was always looking for trouble and stuck his big mean nose into everything. He was always quick to post something controversial on a new tree to start arguments. Even when others were doing their best to stay civil, here comes Grumpy to cause a stir. He always walked right on the line (usually not crossing it), and stood staunch on his opinions enjoying the flying debris around him when arguments began. He was mean enough to stir up the witch’s pot, but delicate enough to not actually break the tenacious rules of the forest. It was very amusing to know that he didn’t actually WANT to start problems, he just couldn’t help it.  Snow White knew the heart of Grumpy, but also worked hard to teach him the pointlessness of arguing in Cyber World, which was probably hopeless but worth the effort…

(The Cheerful) - Happy was always laughing and having fun. Every tree he post on in the forest was followed by a million different smiley faces in which he himself helped to create.  He liked to keep everyone happy and spread joy and goodwill throughout the land. Why it is true, if someone was having a bad day and needed a great big hug of encouragement, he would be the first to clasp his fat arms around the tree and give words of kindness. Everyone loved Happy, except Grumpy who, in his asinine way, thought Happy was simply too happy for anyone’s good. Grumpy found him annoying.

(The Drive By) - Sleepy was always tired which is why, I suppose, you would only see him maybe once in a lifetime.  While Snow White had never met this one dwarf, she had heard tails and knew his kind well. Usually a small fly of stupidity or boredom pestered Sleepy out of his hibernation. This could be a good thing or a bad thing; you just could never tell what was going to come out of his fat red lips.  Sometimes Sleepy would simply come post something rude, hateful and absolutely outlandish for shock value. Sometimes it would be that something had made him so mad that he couldn’t go back to sleep until he got it off his chest.  And other times he was so bored for such a long time that he just randomly popped in to say “Hi!” It could be anything really, but the most pronounced thing about his kind was that he made one post and one post only, then simply disappeared back into cyber world making his residency a short one at best.

(The Troll) - Bashful was the shyest of the dwarves, and because of this was usually embarrassed by any attention directed his way. He was not one of those ugly trolls that people feared, even though he was dubbed with the mark of the troll. He was simply labeled thus because he indeed trolled through Forum Forest all day reading every post and thought, yet he never offered a remark in return.  He didn’t need communication to feel that he was part of the forest; he had his own developed relationships with everyone, even if it was only in his head.  It is fabled that he is secretly in love with Snow White, which is what keeps him around surfing through the forest in hopes to see his true love post.

(The Troll… that posts) - Sneezy’s name was earned by his ability to sneeze on every post tree in the forest at an amazing rate.  He trolled around the forums every day and made sure to put his mark everywhere as a reminder of his constant existence, or perhaps even to let everyone know that he was paying attention.  Because he wanted so badly to make sure his imprint was left on every stump and foxhole, sometimes his posts made no sense and often went off topic. A bit of a thread hijacker, he essentially meant no harm. You would know him simply by seeing his name… everywhere.

(The Joker) - Dopey was a clumsy dwarf, but his clumsiness was intentional and only existed to provide comic relief to all who dwell in the land.  He liked making people laugh so hard that they peed their pants. Every post he made would usually be one of dry wit, even if it went off topic or was hard to understand. He liked to provide links of magic to others, and show the unusual and funny goings-on of the outside Forum Land. His banter (which sometimes appeared mean) was very witty. Dopey was one of those dwarves you most certainly want inhabiting your land, but at the same time sitting and thinking about all those witty responses has to drive a dwarf mad, you would think…

As Snow White assessed all these lively and not so lively dwarves, she thought she could be just as happy hiding out in Forum Forest as in Forum Land. But this was not to be the case. The evil Magic Mirror had stumbled upon Snow White frolicking in the daisies around the forest, and immediately informed the Wicked Queen that “her” nemesis was still among the Land.

Blah, Blah, Blah an apple, a Prince, a temporary death… err ban, and a couple of years later…(This Blog needs to end..)

The Wicked Queen was chased by the entire little clan of dwarves to a cliff where a magical lightning bolt ensured she fell to her death.  This is now long forgotten, but essentially a hack and a permanent ban of her ISP ended her reign. A Prince, who was also The Moderator of a nearby land rescued Snow White and came to help rebuild Forum Land. The Prince was all-knowing, all-kind, and steered everyone to all the right ways.  He took special care to know and relate to every personality that dwelled in the land, and provided happiness and harmony to all. As the land had once belonged to her father, Snow White was dubbed the new Admin and both she and the Prince ruled with kindness and serenity for years to come.

Her first decree was to change the word filters so that only gigantic words which ignoramus people used to make other people feel smaller, were changed into words that were easily understandable to all. The Magic Mirror was proven to be a true idiot and lout on his first post, and ran off to some other cyber land with his tail between his legs and was never heard of again.