Dick and Jane (made up people, in situations I have seen before) have never met each other face to face, they have never been able to have physical contact, look into each others eyes, or even hear the sounds of their voice- yet the emotional bond between these two people is so strong that all else ceases to exist for them. They sit on their game all day long and have private chats filling each other in on the story of their lives, laughing, crying, and joking, along with every other emotion possible between humans.

This budding relationship that has become so consuming for both parties that the first thing they can think about is getting on their game to play with each other. However, the difference is with Dick, is that he has to be very careful of his wife walking around the house questioning why he is spending so much time with one person.

Dick doesn’t think he is doing anything wrong online, why would he it is a fantasy world, their relationship has never been sexual, and he is just having a little fun with his online “crush”. He has no idea that he is now participating in Emotional Infidelity- yep Dick, you’re cheating on your wife. You’re in a relationship that you try to keep secret, it has sexual sparks, and your have been more emotionally open to Jane than with your wife lately.  That is what Emotional Infidelity is characterized by: a deeply emotional bond, a secret, and a sexually charged (not consummated) friendship. And from what I have seen (I have seen a lot) it is not only one of the most rampant forms of adultery on the internet but in online gaming as well.

This is the way online gaming relationships are heading- right down the path that internet dating has gone.  But it appears these bonds are even stronger when combined with voice communication (e.g. Xbox live) and fantasy environments (e.g. MMO) than internet chat could be.  The connectivity today on gaming has perpetuated a new form of Internet Dating, and many people are being swept up by the relationships they are forming on these games- whether or not they already have someone sleeping next to them.

Online Anonymity is the breeding ground for relationships in gaming, as it allows people to open up with each other more easily, connect with people they wouldn’t normally connect with, and let their imagination to soar. People who form relationships online might be more open to each other than they would someone in their real life, and that grows a deeper intimacy between them, as it would with anyone you share a great deal with.

Not all of the thousands of couples getting together on games are already in a real-life relationship, many of them are finding true love and eventually pack up their belongings and move near one another, but some like, Dick, already have relationships of their own.  Many people that aren’t looking for a relationship (don’t believe in online dating, already involved, etc.) don’t even see it coming when they are about to be swept up and never realize that the platonic relationship they have formed is changing to an all consuming romantic love.

Anyway, I just wanted to write about this subject because I have seen many of my friends in the years of my gaming become involved in online gaming relationships.  Some of these friends had fiancés, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc. and some were single- however, ultimately these relationships caused a major life turning event for them, some good some bad.

One thing I can not condone is emotional infidelity, as this is very much cheating as well. I also realize however that many people step unwittingly into these relationships, not recognizing that they are in a breeding ground for love and lust. I also know that you can recognize the signs and do something about it before you allow yourself to fall head over heels. So, here are some general situations that occur when you are becoming involved in an online relationship.  Should you find any of these situations occurring and you value your relationship with your current partner, it is time to walk away.

1. You tend to spend a lot of time with one person alone or in private conversation.
2. You feel the need to keep your “friend” a secret from your partner.
3. You find yourself saying or typing things you wouldn’t want your partner to see.
4. Your relationship is sexually charged.
5. You find yourself looking for one person immediately when you get on the game.
6. You feel the need to share a real life photo, phone number, or other personal info you would not normally give to someone.
7. You tell your “friend” things you would never tell your partner.
8. You send or receive many messages from one person constantly.