1. What determines the number of girls that are “required” to be in the FD? Is there some kind of set number that UbiSoft won’t go above? The last time a casting call was done...in the end it was a surprise when they chose 2 girls.

The only way a new Frag Doll is added is if someone sprinkles water on us-which will instantly make us convulse and spawn off new Frag Dolls. There is no required number of Frag Dolls needed per say, however due to food and space limitations, as well as the risks of us foraging for food after midnight (if you don’t want us to start eyeing you up for dinner), we must control our numbers so we don’t risk taking over the world in true gremlin fashion. 

Being a Frag Doll is a job after all, and there is only enough food in the refrigerator for so many of us *so to speak*.  It depends on how often UbiSoft wants to upgrade that fridge and how much water is sprinkled on us that will determine how many new Frag Dolls are spawned each time.

Click image for larger view

IF:
R= Refrigerator Volume
G= Groceries
W= Water
F= Frag Dolls
FS= FragDoll Spawns

Then:

FS = R/G(W+F)

(If your simple human minds still can’t figure it out, the refrigerator is the budget allotted for Frag Dolls and the groceries are the amount of work we are required to do. It is a job after all and we need to make a living terrorizing the neighborhood.)

2. If you were forced to either play ET (on the atari) until the end or drown an adorable puppy, which would you choose? Keep in mind the puppy still has puppy breath and everything, and that ET is the worst game in the history of history. Choose wisely.

I was going to try and answer this question humorously about how it would depend on each puppy individually, how cute it was, etc. But in my search for puppy and dead puppy pictures I simply got disgusted and angry, so I will just say I will finish ET a million times before I killed ANY puppy, you sick demented freak!

3. Even though the Frag Dolls are awesome, what are the odds that UbiSoft would support a team with both genders? Or is that just something that for now isn’t really on their plate to work through? Just curious.

No it’s not on the plate for now, but anything can happen in the future- I just wouldn’t hold my breath quite yet. Boys drool after all. Can you picture this as the new Frag Doll:

4. What do you girls think about Americas Army, the PC game? I really haven’t played it in the past year as I went through boot camp and various other things (like move to Iraq) and I was wondering if it got better or worse. I am not a hooah but a USMC. What do you think about America’s army now?

Is this a trick question… I sniff a rat! I will stick to the concept that every game has it’s audience and you will simply have to try it and see if you like it as I have no clue where your tastes may run. I will also note that I have yet to try the PC version and only played the PS3 version so far, and from what I know they are different, so I can not truthfully answer your question. Ring around the rosy, pockets full of posey’s…

5. When you’re crashing with your favorite game, what is the snack food you MUST have?

Cheese and crackers. I really do love this snack and eat it every other day, but more importantly it makes one of my favorite smack talk lines more viable at the same time, “Do you need a bit of cheese to go with that Whine?”.

6. I read that the Frag Dolls are expanding onto PC. What are some of the games y’all will be playing/focusing on? At the moment I’m playing Halo 2 for PC and have noticed there really isn’t enough competition. I believe that playing with people who are better is the best way to improve yourself, so please come over and show us how it’s done.

We are not necessarily expanding to PC, we hired a primary PC girl (Pyra) to do challenges at events and such, but contrary to popular belief many of us DO play PC as well: Calyber, Rhoulette, Jinx, and myself.  I don’t see us focusing on tournaments in the PC realm anytime soon, as UbiSoft’s main focus for its titles is indeed console for now. If you aren’t having success in getting a Frag Doll to gravitate toward your choice of game and platform, the best advice I can give you is to stalk and harass them until they succumb to your charm.  Try sending love poems and cute photoshopped pictures of you both traveling the world (Like this guy with his own doll)- that should do the trick!

7. What Frag Dolls are teaming together for Halo 3?

Most of us have Halo 3, but there is no set plans for us to compete on it for UbiSoft. You will still of course see a few Frag Dolls kicking ass online with it at any hour of the night!

8. How would you ladies plan the perfect murder?

Plan it in a location you can’t be tried for:

In 1909 during Peary’s eighth attempt to reach the North Pole, Professor Ross Marvin, 34, was a member of a small exploration party consisting of himself and two Eskimos. When the Eskimos returned they reported that they had found Marvin drowned under a layer of ice. In 1926 the two approached a Danish missionary who had been carrying out work amongst the Eskimos, and admitted that they had shot Marvin, saying that his cruel and hysterical behavior had proved that he was “ice-mad”, and a danger. Fortunately for them, they had confessed to murder in a land over which there was no legal control, and it was therefore impossible to bring them to trial.

Some tips:

RULE 1. If you wrap the corpse in paper, do not use a piece which has your name and address on it.
RULE 2. Do not use an unusual murder weapon that can be traced to you.
RULE 3. Do not set fire to the corpse in the back garden - the neighbors will notice.
RULE 4. Do not invite someone over to watch, it’s just not polite.
RULE 5. Don’t confess or brag to your friends, idiot.

9. Can I have a dollar?

Are you crazy? That’s worth 142.365 Malawi Kwacha!

10. Do you think the Frag Dolls will increase its rank in the near future?

I cannot discover that anyone knows enough to say definitely what is and what is not possible- Henry Ford

Pete: One, two, three, four, five new ones. NOW can I have one?
Billy Peltzer: I don’t know, Pete.
Pete: Hey, look! That one’s got a cute little stripe on its head. Hey, cutie.
[Pete attempts to pet the baby Frag Doll, who, in response, snarls and attempts to bite Pete]

11. Would I make an awesome cheerleader?

Riddle me this and if you can say yes to all these questions, you indeed would make a good cheerleader:

Do you have a big mouth?
Can you do the splits?
Do people call you “Bubbly” or “Perky”?
Do you use phrases like “Oh, my God, “Like”, and “That’s so …” etc.?
Would cheerleading be the most important thing in your life, freak?

*note: The views, opinions, and ridicule expressed against cheerleaders are strictly those of the author (who was a cheerleader herslef). It should in no way be represented as an official stance of UbiSoft against the cheerleading species.

12. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee in the morning, tea the rest of the day.

13. If you can kill one forum member, who would it be?

The one I most wanted to kill so far has been Borfase, but this is such a love/hate relationship that I am not sure what I would do without him.

14. I was wondering, I know ya’ll just had a Frag Doll casting call and all, but do ya’ll have any idea when ya’ll might have another casting call for another new Frag Doll? I know, it probably won’t be for quite a while, but I’d love to try out one day. Thanks!

I think you answered your own question- but we look forward to seeing you on that day, err night, in the infinite future!

PS: You might be spawned immediatly if you have an developed an immunity to bright lights.

15. Which console experience do you enjoy more - playing online with others, socializing, and pwning (see Halo 2/3), or getting lost in one of those rare but spectacular single-player games (see RE4 Wii)?

Well, most of my gaming is of course online playing multiplayer as the game always changes. But I always walk away a couple of days to play the great offline games when they come out, and don’t look back until I beat them.  Truly, both experiences are equally enjoyable.

16. Have you people ever murder someone in a back alley with a trash can lid because of an argument you had earlier with the victim about the best way to fold laundry?

No, but this one time these stupid people tried to eat me over the last Gucchi purse on special, so I had to hit them upside the head with a frying pan! True story, see…

PS: If you spent forever trying to see if the made-up formula in the first question worked, your the biggest geek that ever walked this earth… and not the good kind of geek either.