I’ve always had a problem with stage fright ever since I was little. You would think after performing in about 20 piano recitals in my lifetime (wow, I never realized how many there were), it would get easier as the years went by, but it didn’t. Every time I went up there, I felt the pressure. I became jittery, nervous, had butterflies, and all those hours of practicing seemed to be erased in a second. In any case, I’ve just described the moments for me before a gaming competition.

I can only count two “real” tournaments that I’ve played in (matches with your friends don’t count I guess) and I have to say that they brought back waves of unwanted emotions. It was like I was up on stage again in front of a huge crowd of people wearing a frilly recital dress. People watching, judging, and commenting on how I play. My hands getting sweaty, my heart racing, my stomach in a knot, and me, looking around for someone to hold my hand. I know, it sounds pathetic. I’m supposed to be a professional gamer right? But honestly, I’m still a baby when it comes to performing, or in this case competing. Sure I’ve played thousands of hours of games, but can I play under pressure?

I guess we’ll have to see this weekend at Lan Party NW. You may see me out there all calm and cool, but trust me; I’m just good at hiding it.