That’s right.  I beat none other than Johnathon Wendel, the acclaimed Fatal1ty, one of the best PC FPS gamers the world has ever seen.  My brand new buddy would like to point out that I cheated, but I don’t think we can call it cheating when he was the one to show me such a devious tactic in the first place.  He did a fantastic job of teaching me an important rule in gaming: if you’re going to be competitive, you’ve gotta be willing to do what your opponents will undoubtedly be willing to do.

Here’s the scene:  January 8th, Las Vegas, around 10pm.  Dim lighting, decently loud music, and the sound of people fragging away at Halo all contribute to an ideal gamer party atmosphere.  Across from me Jinx is jumping up and down like a sprinter loosening up right before a race.  To my right, PMS clan’s Cella is prepping herself, drink in hand, for what will be only her second attempt at this game.  And to my left, the confident expression on Fatal1ty’s face is only appropriate because of his victory in two previous matches.  He looks ready to do what he does best: win.

The count-down concludes and the “ball” is set in motion.  As always it starts slowly towards the first target who happens to be Cella.  She returns it smoothly and the ball glides towards Jinx.  Everyone is on top of their paddles so far, but now the ball is doing one of those annoying jogs into a corner where it will inevitably slip by the unwary.  Much frantic stepping and sliding errupts in the corner between Fatal1ty and Jinx before the ball is finally convinced to head back towards me where I glide to meet it.

Rounds pass and each time the ball is reset in the middle it attacks slowly, but soon enough it’s flying around the square arena causing players to jump and stomp to keep from getting scored on.  Cella is the first one out as a result of a faulty paddle (I swear some of the sensors over by the wall are buggy; I had problems with it during the first two matches).

Two Frag Dolls and Fatal1ty are left and the competition suddenly becomes intense.  Beating Fatal1ty is certainly my first priority, but I have to watch out for Jinx too.  She’s wily and though I would want her to win if I were eliminated, I don’t intent to hand her the victory if I can help it. 

A hot rally ensues and the inherent silliness of our dancing around to make clutch saves is making us laugh in the middle of competition.  Luckily all three of us are athletic enough to be semi-graceful, so we start getting fancy.  On one pass the ball is headed towards me when Jonathan sneaks over and stabs a foot on the left corner of my side thus making the paddle flash in that direction.  Luckily for me the ball was still far enough away that I could redirect the paddle correctly and make the save. 

Being inspired by these shenanigans, I proceed to share the favor by jumping on the right side of his area when the ball is headed toward the left.  This happens a few times and he retains control during a great majority of these instances, but I’m being overzealous and on one occassion I manage to cost him a point. 

Now comes what will end up being the last round we play against Fatal1ty.  All three remaining players are looking a bit sweatier than they were 5 minutes ago and determination shines in our eyes.  The rally wears on and the ball continues to build speed.  Jinx and I pass it back and forth a few times and on one of her returns it streaks towards the corner that Fatal1ty and I share.  I leap to make the save and only barely clip the ball with my paddle to shoot it off at an angle directly past Fatal1ty’s paddle into his endzone.  He’s out, he’s been beaten at a l33t Pong match and still manages to graciously bow out of the field of play.

Jinx and I continued to focus for a few minutes and I was lucky enough to defeat her (it easily could have gone either way).  The end result is that I now feel like the World Champion of 4-way, foot-paddle Pong because I managed to beat Johnathon Wendel.  I realize this isn’t exactly the kind of game he’s famous for having mastered.  He’s usually teaching everyone harsh lessons with mouse and keyboard not having to dance around on a large, sensor-laden game pad playing the most basic form of virtual raquetball.  But for me that’s not the point.  He’s extremely good at winning and I can’t be faulted for seeking any opportunity to say I beat him (anyone would be proud). 

Since this is undoubtedly the first and last time I’ll get to brag about such an illustrious win, here it is one more time:  I beat Fatal1ty!

I would like to thank PMS Clan, NowStream.com, and GamerCam.com for putting on an awesome gamer event and making my bragging possible!  Later on I’ll post pictures of us actually playing the game.