I don’t have Rock Band.  What I have instead is a humble apartment, which I am fond of because it’s perfectly jinx-sized. Unfortunately the downside to jinx-sized is there’s not a whole lot of storage available. No closets except the one in my room which is literally stuffed to the ceiling with all my electronics boxes.  What I’m getting at here is that I don’t have room for guitars and such, let alone a drum set, which I would feel very foolish indeed playing on the couch 3 feet from the TV.

But don’t weep for me (I had to catch myself before I made a horrible Evita reference there). I have a set at work, where I also have a steady supply of bandmates! We’re very productive with high morale as a result. Tell all your bosses!

I first played Rock Band on Thanksgiving at wedgewu’s house after a healthy dose of turkey and pie.  The situation was such that I became besotted quite immediately and admittedly sulked a little when we had to stop with the drums because her downstairs neighbors don’t like it when people stomp on the floor, even if it’s in perfect rhythm! Joykillers.

Anyway, luckily we have it at work and I play it a lot. I even book meetings in that room to make it official. It’s always a good idea to cover yourself with paperwork! Or, well, I guess this is sort of binarywork.  Either way, it’s a paper (or binary) trail to say that the room belongs to ME!  And that means I am officially sanctioned to rock out.

I have a regular crew, most of which consists of other community managers and our desk neighbors.  We make the trek all the way to the top floor, which holds the game room aloft like a beacon, and we proceed to do our best to bother everyone else on that floor with our undeniable metalness.  I’m not the best on my team, by far. There’s this other guy who decided after 3 tries that he was ready for expert drums and he totally kills it.  I must restrain myself from garrotting him in a fit of jealousy.  I lack the same precision, but with a fancy hat most people don’t notice. See exhibit A below from when I rocked out at Rhoulette’s house this one time and man that was awesome.

That guy behind me is all like “was that a missed beat--whoa, sweet hat!”

Now that I’m an official rock star I have to name my band, right?!  So what if the lineup of my band changes constantly and I’m the only member who’s always there. That’s cool, right? That’s Art. We still need a name!

I did the smart thing. I googled “Rock Band Names” and visited a Band Name Makers conveniently located at www.bandnamemaker.com (whoa! I didn’t see that one coming).  So far I think “Certified Fantastic” best describes me AND my headgear, but Bacon Canal was also up there.

I made a playlist of indy, semi-indy, and not-at-all-indy-but-maybe-emo rock when I was bored on the train the other day, and I decided to call it December Train which is maybe not so creative but hey, that’s what it is. It’s a playlist from the train in December.  I kind of like the word train.  It’s a good word, right? So I plugged it into the generator, which recommended I call my band Bloated Train of the Corrosive Motion.

Whoa, man. Deep.

Also, Train Bubble of the Official Dragonfly.

These guys are GOOD.

My search for the perfect band name continues. I need inspiration! What do you call your Rock Band?

- jinx

show me the dirt pile and i will pray