Morrowind.  I bought the game on a whim, convinced by the box that the publishers believed in it enough to invest in its presentation.  I even forked over the extra money for the collector’s edition.  I’ve never regretted that decision.

One of the things that makes Morrowind so amazing is the freedom of being set loose in a world with only a vague idea of where you’re supposed to go.  Don’t feel like it?  Well then, choose another direction and start running.  You’ll find something interesting.  The entire landmass is traversible and littered with adventure - aggressive wildlife, ancestral tombs, quests, and opportunity - hundreds of hours worth of it.

The game came out in 2002.  I remember being mesmerized when I first played it.  The world was so vast I could have sworn I was in an MMO… all by myself.  The graphics was stunning.  The characters were the only weaknessness on that front.  The same is still true.  But I can break into any house in the world and steal from tables, closets, chests, shelves, and people.  Nothing has been created that can’t be accessed somehow.

A few years later, the gameplay remains as free as ever - moreso after the Tribunal and Bloodmoon expansions were released.  Sadly the graphics, while still beautiful, have begun to look a little dated.  Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to play it that way.  True to the game’s philosophy of freedom, Bethesda included an editor with the game: a tool to allow fans to do anything they wished with the game.

And they have, pouring so much love back into it that Morrowind has become more than it ever could have.  Fans dissatisfied with the character graphics overhauled them to create new faces, new hairstyles, and better body meshes.  Ambitious teams developed entire new landmasses for their fellow gamers to explore.

The idea of creating my own plugin (or mod, or add-on, whatever you want to call it) appealed to me from the beginning, but the desire never went farther than “I’d like to make a Morrowind mod.” Oh I almost started a few times.  I even fired up the editor.  Then I closed it as quickly as possible and swallowed the terror of so many unknown objects and no idea where to begin.

Recently, I decided to give Morrowind one last play-through before Oblivion comes out.  I installed it with all the graphic plugins that scrub away the marks of time, created my character, and set out.  This time I decided to be rogue archer with a knack for alchemy.  Not far along, I started shopping for a house. You see, there exist hundreds and hundreds of plugins that give you, the big hero, a comfy place to kick up your feet.  I wanted one.

I had two very specific requirements: an alchemy garden and no expansions required.  You’d be surprised how difficult those two goals were to fulfill.  I found several delightful living spaces, but none with both of my stringent requirements.  What’s a girl to do?  It looked like I was really going to have to buckle down this time, because if I didn’t make it I just wasn’t going to get an alchemy garden.

I went about in an intelligent manner this time.  I found a handy TESCS Item Index to steer my course through all the game objects in the editor, and a tutorial on the basics of object placement to help me use the Index.  I won’t pretend I wasn’t terrified.  Who was I, a mere mortal, to toy with the creations of gods?

I started out with the one thing I was determined to have: my alchemy garden.  In this room could be found all the plants and ingredients I would need for my brews.  I even attached a workroom with potions and shelving and alchemy tools.  And I included a handy bookshelf with recipes and other books that might be of interest to a budding alchemist like myself.  Then I added a fountain and a fireplace to maintain climate.

Several revisions later, I thought I might add something more.  The rest of the house, perhaps?  This is where I started to get a little ambitious.  I needed somewhere to sleep, somewhere to keep all my… beverages, a respectable library, and a wardrobe.  Plus I needed an armory.  What house in Morrowind doesn’t have an armory?  And since I had an armory, I needed display mannequins.  I decided to call the place “Alchemist’s Retreat.” Then I decided to add a pool, because what kind of retreat doesn’t have a pool?

With each new task my terrifying little project grew and became something more.  I hit snags along the way.  My mannequins, for example, walked around and tried to hold conversations with me.  I can’t describe the eeriness of walking into a room and seeing 8 mannequin heads turn to look at me.  Just trust me.  It’s weird.

I almost didn’t finish it.  Black & White 2 came out and, even though I recognized the danger I went out and bought it.  I brought it back, put it on my desk, and had a good long debate with myself.  If I installed this new game there was a very good chance that my house would permanently remain “almost finished.” So I mustered my will, set the box aside, and pushed through to finish my house.

What motivation! I finished that night.

It’s clearly a beginner project, but it’s my beginner project.  I’m proud of it.  Like a pre-schooler with a crayon drawing, I’m ready to give it to you to put on your fridge with a giant magnet.  I didn’t always color inside the lines, and not everything matches, but if you squint you might be able to recognize it!

Thank you to CRM3000, Calistah, and Mookel for helping me make sure it works correctly!

- jinx

when i come to terms with this