I try to maintain some semblance of a healthy lifestyle.  As other gamers know, games themselves consitute a way of living.  They’re what you do.  Sure, we’ve all had to have day jobs, but those aren’t what we do.  When someone asks me what I am, the answer is simple.  I’m a gamer.  The addiction is an all-consuming thing.  I start heating up water for breakfast in the morning, catch a round of Halo 2 while the stove does its work… and the water is all boiled away by the time I remember what I was doing before I started playing.

I know this kind of obsession doesn’t just affect me.  The gaming mindset is pretty universal.  When we don’t play, we’re thinking about playing.  We’re scheming to get in a few extra rounds between obligatory tasks that crop up to interfere with our lives.  It consumes our time, our productivity, and our attention spans.  Well, maybe it’s not like that for everyone.  I’ve met plenty of gamers who can turn their attention towards other tasks without a second thought.  Not me, though.  When I’m in it, I’m in neck deep and swimming.

Before I moved, I had a pretty good routine established, one that checked my natural obsession and kept me from falling overboard and drowning.  I hit the gym every day after work, before I got home and turned on a console.  Since I’ve moved, I’ve had an impossible time setting up a similar routine.  I’ve been settled into my new place for almost a month now, I know where my nearest fitness center is, and I’ve still only gone once.  Once!  The shame of it burns me.

I want to go, I really do.  I can feel my abs melting away, and my biceps are no longer as intimidating as they once were.  I can see that I’m not as cut as I used to be.  I’m a shadow of my former self.  I hate that.  So why am I having such a difficult time just digging in and getting it back?

I look at the clock, and I know it’s time to go to the gym now, since my 24 hour fitness isn’t really open 24 hours and will be closing.  But then I consider how much else I could get done in those two hours.  By “how much else I could get done” I really mean “how much gaming I could get in,” but it sounds better in my head if I pretend I would actually do something productive during that time.

I know it’s all a sham, somewhere deep in the recesses of my mind, but I still manage to trick myself into debating until it’s too late to go anyway.  Then I go back to playing my games with the occasional twinge of guilt reminding me that I dropped the ball again.

It’s a brutal cycle.  All of us have been asked how we manage to stay in pretty good shape even though we’re gamers.  Guys, I am telling you, it’s a psychological war.  And I’m losing.

I’m going to go to the gym tomorrow.  No excuses.  That sounds familiar, but I mean it this time.  I hope.

- Jinx.

what i need is a good defense, cause i’m feeling like a criminal