Every now and again I’ll be playing a game and some guy will come along who doesn’t think games are the sort of thing I ought to be focusing on.  More often, they tell me to go to bed because I sound like an 8 year old boy, but on occasion I do get the odd request for a sandwich.  I would love to help out, guys, but my self-prepared diet consisting of Ritz crackers, macaroni ‘n cheese (Kraft for the discerning pasta enthusiast), and potatoes isn’t a strong resume.

After all those kind requests I’ve decided to do the deed: I’m heading back to the kitchen to learn what I should have learned a long time ago… and I’m taking you all with me! A lot of girls read this site too, right?  If I’m lucky, this will help us all to become the kind of woman those male gamers are looking for.  So, off to the kitchen!

Step 1:  The Proper Equipment

If you’re like me, and you’re determined to do this thing, you’ll want to start out with the proper equipment.  It only cost me about 100 Septims to buy a full set of novice cookware (at my level the better stuff just isn’t available).

All you really need is a mortar and pestle, but do you want to settle for the bare minimum?  I say spring for the retort, calcinator, and alembic too.  You’ll have to throw them all out in a few levels and upgrade to the apprentice set, but that’s what we do, right? We redecorate all the time!

Step 2: Start Easy

My mother once told me I could burn water.  I think what she was referring to was the time(s) I left water boiling and forgot about it for a while and came back to a very hot, very empty pan.  So I’ve been unsure of myself, and my self esteem has never quite been the same.  I’m going to start off with one of the most basic recipes, which I like to call the “Feel Good.” Check out my recipe card below.  You can print it out and add it to your collection!

Grocery stores are notoriously difficult to find in Cyrodiil.  Most of the inns and taverns have a limited selection, and some alchemists just rub me the wrong way.  So I’ve had to head out of the city and get ingredients the old-fashioned way.  Aside from the occasional minotaur attack, it’s really not so bad.

Cairn Bolete can be found in most caves, and Lady’s Smock grows in the West Weald.  So start gathering and then practice up.  We’re not content with such simple concoctions!

Step 3: Step It Up

Now that we’ve got the basics down, we can move up a tad and make some more useful stuff.  I like to call this one “Lighten the Load.” It’s helpful for carrying more weight than one would be able to do ordinarily… like when we have to move all the furniture ourselves.

I’m not much of a deer hunter, however brave the little things are when I’m out horse riding.  I really prefer the Sacred Lotus Seeds route… They don’t run off when I fling a fire bolt at them.  Flax is plentiful between Skingrad and Kvatch, and Sacred Lotus can be found in most pools of water, even in the Imperial City (try the Arboreteum).

Step 4: Profit!

This is a theoretical step, because I’m still a humble dabbler in the kitchen, but I now have a goal to work towards.  Good for You food is fun and all that, but who doesn’t want to brew victory from the comfort of her own kitchen?  Try this recipe on for size and tell me what you get!

- jinx

you’re my pride, joy, etc.