We all know by now that I’m unspeakably awesome at games, and if I can’t beat you, I will at least pretend to do so.  I don’t think I’m bad, but neither am I noteworthy.  You know those people who are always at the top of round boards?  I’m not one of them.  But over time I’ve also become moderately reliable, if eccentric (Katscratch got me addicted to pistols in Far Cry: Instincts.  Blame her for my refusing to use anything else!), in my level of skill.

I’ve resigned myself to never being the spotlight player, which works fine because it also means I’m not the one the other team is gunning for.  The security of mediocrity astounds.  But, I also have some pride in the measure of skill I’ve gained over the subtle nuances of controller thumbsticks.  If I’m rarely the best, I’m also rarely the worst.  There is some comfort in that.

Then I started playing Project Gotham Racing 3.

It’s all downhill from here, for my pride at least.  Racing games, with flight simulators and sports games, are among those genres which traditionally hold no interest for me.  It’s not that they’re bad games, because I know of several quality titles in each category.  They simply don’t get a grip on my lapel and haul me in.

As a result, I have exactly no grounding in the skills necessary to play these games well.  I can tell you that my skills were unenviable, especially the first night I decided to throw down with some of the forum community members and drive in circles very fast.  Of course, it involved several obstacles more intricate than circles, pretty much all of which I drove straight into rather than around.

So here I am… doggedly guarding the back of the pack from any monsters who might come by way of the rear.  It’s humbling to be so rudimentary, and I occasionally feel stung that I could be so bad at this, but I know I haven’t invested enough time into training and playing.  To assume I could automatically be great cheapens the effort others have already invested.  Calistah, I salute your crazy skills.

Somehow, I still find myself enjoying the game a great deal.  I don’t mind admitting that I played through the entire campaign on novice, or that I’m now four chamionships from completing it on easy.  Tonight I will begin slogging through on medium, and I will get better every time.  I prefer this gradual improvement.  It’s more time consuming than gritting my teeth and forcing through, sure, but it’s relaxing in its own way, and I can enjoy the experience of driving so fast - of the surroundings blurring out of speed rather than illusionary effects - and occasionally pretending I’m the one to lead the pack.

- jinx

PS - check out this blog by a friend of mine who did the music you’ll be hearing in our future podcast episodes.  Interesting stuff.  I had no idea music was so complicated.

your world unwinds you come unglued