I am crazy for top ten lists!  It’s always interesting to see who or what are the most fascinating, strangest or most wanted thing-a-ma-jigs by a particular website or person.  My favorite type of top ten lists are the “Top Ten Hottest fill in the blank.”

I found one of these lists on Xbox.com.  No disrespect to the writer (we’re all entitled to our opinions), but I disagree.  The list, Top Ten Xbox 360 Hotties, includes Pac-Man as number 10.

I don’t understand how this little lemon drop with limbs can be considered attractive.  His brain, lungs, stomach and kidneys are all smashed together in his head.  How is that hot?  Furthermore, is he mammal?  Reptile?  I don’t think it’s morally sound to classify something as being hot when you don’t even know what category of species it is.

If we’re going solely on looks, it’s obvious to me that Sam Fisher is the hottest in the list.

His rough, masculine appearance and his badass attitude make my toes wiggle somethin’ fierce.  Maybe the reason he’s so far down the list is because TriXie didn’t see what he looks like with his shirt off.  Then again, if we’re taking the actual game character’s personality, quality of gameplay and looks into account, Sgt. Mitchell is by far the hottest.

I’ll get over Sam Fisher and Sgt. Mitchell being so far down the list.  What I really want to know is, how did The King even get on the list?  And why is he number two?!  Does anyone else think that’s odd?  If by hot we’re talking about a creepy, plastic-faced pretty boy then yeah, I guess he does deserve to be number two.

Lastly, there’s something about a steroid-injected and scarred-up face that really doesn’t do it for me.  Marcus Fenix is ugly; plain and simple.

Last time I checked, ugly was the opposite of hot.  I can’t find him hot.  An attractive male has definition between his ankles and calves, and between his neck and shoulders; he has neither cankles, nor nelders (I made that one up, but you can use it).  Again, Sam Fisher is a great example of this.  Notice how his proportionate body parts and features don’t require him to use pickup trucks as roller skates.

I’ll give her credit - it was a good attempt at a top ten hottest list.  Plus I’m sure it has to be a little biased since it’s posted up on Xbox.com…