So, this one time, Calyber left her computer on and a browser window logged into the Frag Dolls website with her administrator account, and while she wasn’t watching, I posted a blog.  This blog, in fact.  I figured that this would be a good time to tell everyone that I GOT TO BE A FRAG DOLL FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND, before it was covered up by the powers-that-be (i.e. the Government, Rhoulette, Tom Cruise… you know, the standard “Them”).

I spent the whole weekend (AS A FRAG DOLL, mind you) in exotic Indianapolis, Indiana at the third and final Music For All event, which took place at the National Championships of the Bands of America marching band competition.  I mean, these kids are band geeks in the same way that we are video game nerds.  They probably have forums to discuss the finer points of the staccato and swap flag-twirling techniques.  And to each their own, right?  The nice thing about this was that we were promoting Jam Sessions, which bridges the gap between band geek and video game nerd.  “But I thought Guitar Hero did that,” you sniffle.  NO!  You see, there is this huge misconception that Guitar Hero is a music game.  Au contraire!  GH is just DDR for the phalanges – a rhythm game.  When all is said and done, you are no closer to playing “Through the Fire and Flames” on a real guitar than you are to saving an actual princess after you play Super Mario Bros.  But with Jam Sessions, you learn real strumming, real chord sounds and real chord progressions.  You can have a sing-along with Jam Sessions; do that with Guitar Hero and you might as well just be listening to the CD. 

But I didn’t mean for this blog to turn into a Jam Sessions review (or a Guitar Hero rant).  My main purpose was to brag to everyone that I GOT TO BE A FRAG DOLL FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND.  My pink and black baby tee, and matching Puma shoes were so adorable!  They didn’t have enough budget to get a pair that were my size, so I kinda had to augment a pair of Calyber’s using some heavy duty leather scissors and a pair of Vans slip-ons.  I don’t think they have an equivalent for a men’s size 12 for women’s shoes… if they do, I am honestly quite scared.  They oughtta hafta publish a list of all the addresses of people who have bought them.  I also had a li’l pink Puma short-billed baseball cap, which really set the outfit off.  After writing all this, I should make a couple things perfectly clear, though: 1) Sorry ladies – I’m taken, and 2) Haha guys!  I GOT TO BE A FRAG DOLL FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND!

The highlights of the event were the shirt giveaways.  I only had a few shirts and didn’t want to just hand them out like flyers, and the setup and timing of the event didn’t really lend itself to raffles (not to mention I didn’t have any tickets for names).  So, with this event being littered with music makers of all sorts, I figgered that there’d be some guitar players out there that I could entice to giving us a little performance in exchange for an “I play with Dolls” shirt.  Sho’ ‘nuff, I did, and it totally worked!  Suckers!  I had a group of girls sing Colbie Caillat’s Droplets, a guy sing Coldplay’s Yellow, and an extremely adventurous guy knock out a full-on Cobain-worthy rendition of Territorial Pissings by Nirvana, puberty screaming and all (it probably came naturally).  The stares aimed at the Ubi booth were priceless.  We even had a 40-year old guy rock out a little Ramones (I am totally guessing on the age there, BTW.  If by any chance you are reading this blog and I am way off, feel free to call me all types of names in the Discussion Thread in the FD Forums).  But by far the best performance of the weekend was the kid who played the song from Rent.  Not because I am a fan of Rent (far from it, in fact), but because he sang it for his girlfriend, who basically turned to doe-eyed putty in his hands.  Guys – here’s a hint: girls love Rent like the Germans love David Hasselhoff.  After all the shirts were given away, I spent the rest of the weekend (AS A FRAG DOLL) playing songs on Jam Sessions whose chords I had gotten off the internet – my favorites like Elliott Smith, Bright Eyes, the Beatles and the ever popular Tenacious D.  Seeing a person play and sing songs really brought the crowds, some of whom knew the words (some of which were not age appropriate!).

You probably only have a few more minutes to read this blog before it is wiped from off of the webbernets, and I probably only have a few more minutes before my Ubi.com account is banned from ever posting/commenting/breathing again.  Remember me, my friends!  That you too can be a Frag Doll!  But I actually WAS, so there!