Tonight’s blog is brought to you by allergies.

Stuffy nose?  Itchy eyes?  You bet!  We’ve got every kind of allergy you need at Histamines Express.  Whether you need your eyes to water constantly or a hint of hay fever, we’ve got you covered.  Open 24 hours, 7 days a week, and just right around the corner.  Histamines Express – bling da ding! – we keep you in pain, bordering hell-like, all season long.

Alright, eyes of mine, I’m going to write this friggin’ blog, no matter how much you want to itch and tear up. Got that? So, you can just stop being little blinky jerks and go back to being white instead of red, and quit blurring my vision so I can discuss just how excited I am about Bomberman Live for Xbox Live Arcade!  Do you know how excited I am, eyeballs?  As excited as you are ANNOYING right now!  When I can see again, I will get to play with 7 other people over Xbox Live, in a bunch of ALL NEW stages.  And the best part – I GET TO PLAY DRESS-UP WITH BOMBERMAN!  Over 10,000 combinations (and permutations) of hats, masks, shoes, outfits and colors!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOGOMOGOGMOMGOMOOOOMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGG!  (The previous “G’s” stand for “goodness” or “gosh” or “gaggle of geese”) Dreams… coming true… right before my swollen, puffy, stupid eyes!  Sure, there are new game modes. Whoop-dee-doo to the fully customizable power-ups.  For only ten bucks, that’s pretty cool, too… but, man, Bomberman-man, I’d play Bomberman dress-up like it were Viva Piñata, trying to buy/win/unlock/steal EVERY SINGLE costume, and wanting a cute little video for it, and prob’ly even an achievement.

This may even help us all forget about that little black-eye that was released almost a year ago - a little ditty called Bomberman: Act Zero. More like Act Zero [out of 10]! Actually, I didn’t even play it… I saw that it was all high-tech, 3-D over-the-shoulder-ish, and how NOT LIKE the old Bombermans (Bombermen?) that we all grew up with, staying up late with our friends who are sleeping over, cracked out on Jolt cola and Cheetos, totally dreading (and at the same time totally forgetting) all the yard work that we are going to have to do the next morning no matter how tired we are, and… where was I going with this?  Oh yeah, sorry, got caught in a nostalgic tangent.

Anyway, it looked too “next-gen” for me.  What I loved about Bomberman was that it wasn’t next-gen, but was still a freakin’ blast (get it? Bomberman? Blast?  Ka-boom!) every time you played it. One little change – enter Revenge mode – and you’ve got a whole new spin on the game. Not wham-bang-in-your-face graffffffixxxxx or a crazy new controller or a hot new rock band doing the soundtrack (good name for a rock band: The Gyrating Haunches)… just raw fun times.  Fun times of fun.  And fun-ness.  And this (which has nothing to do with Bomberman, but everything to do with fun).

Anyhow… hey!  My eyes don’t hurt anymore!  Either writing this blog cured my allergies, or the Claritin just kicked in.