Hullo.  Dis is Bauer.  Being part basset hound and part Jack Bauer, I was able to bypass an open kernel socket using an over-clocked trojan modulator (Calyber’s such a noob) and hack into Calyber’s puter specifically to write a rebuttal to JJ.  I don’t know much about Gheycraft, but if Brookelyn spends as much time on it as Caly does on her 360 and puter combined I have a good idea of your situation.

I can’t go into too much detail, for the safety of those involved, but I will tell you that during certain parts of the day Calyber plays video games for extended periods of time.  Instead of feeling deserted during these periods, I find this to be a rewarding part of my day.  I use this time to target known terrorists, which I’ve been tracking for weeks, and it’s also the only time I’m allowed up on the couch.

Listen JJ (if that is your real name), I’m going to tell you the steps to take in order to enjoy video game time.  The thing you have to learn and remember is: Video game time = “puppy time.” Pay attention, and do exactly what I say.  Go into Brookelyn’s room (don’t worry, she won’t notice you’re gone), get into the dirty clothes and bring back as many socks and bras into the living room as you can.  Drop the socks in various places all over the room, and settle down with a bra to chew on for a good five to ten minutes.  Next, pull the blankets off the couch and bed.  Lay on them for a few minutes to relax from all the bra-chomping-blanket-pulling work.  Trust me, I do this all the time.  After you’re all rested up, scout out the house for an area you’re not allowed to go… like the nice couches in the other room, or the closet where all the delectable footwear is (yum!).  Get on the luxury sofa and take a nap; munch on an $80 pump, or better yet, one of those Puma shoes (Did you know? A Puma is just a fancy word for CAT!).  By the time Brookelyn notices what you’ve done, you’ve hopefully already had a good time.  Oh, and before I forget, be sure to brush up on your “cute face” – that way she can’t punish you without feeling really bad about it.  This is also a great way to train her into paying more attention to you. 

Don’t tell Brooklyn or Valkyrie, but I’m working with the Chinese and North Koreans right now to destroy the world… of Gheycraft.  We’ll overload their network with a server socket mainframe inhibitor to reboot the login channel bandwidth port, which will take all those Level 70 Wiznerds and Battletards down to Level Zero for a few days.  Consider it a favor.  I’m going to go have cuddle time with Calyber; she’s almost done playing Rainbow.