Ever since I was a little kid I’ve had a weird notion of karma. For instance, in early elementary school I remember throwing out the healthy part of my lunch to skip right to the chocolate pudding. Hours later, when I really should have been paying attention to the geography lesson on the Northeastern states, I would suddenly become panicky about my misdeed and stew in fear that it would come back to me, perhaps in the form of my suddenly become allergic to pudding. In my mind that would have been an appropriate punishment handed down from the karma gods.

That weird sense of karma has always stuck with me, and while I’ve found that it’s pretty easy to choose the right thing in the real world, it’s sometimes not so easy when it comes to games. Yes I totally know they’re not real, but try as might, as soon as I unload that first round into a good guy the fear of the terrible consequences starts creeping in. As hard as it may be for you to imagine, there are actually worse things that an allergy to pudding. Far worse! So bad that I simply cannot bring myself play as an evil character. This sucks in soooo many ways. 

First, it almost always means I can’t get all the achievements (I’m talking to you Fallout 3 & Bio-Shock), which is lame, because achievements mean a lot to me (bragging rights).
Two, I can’t buy certain games where you play a character with questionable morals (Hitman, Manhunt, etc) which is double lame because I know I’m missing out on some great games. 

I know what you’re thinking. Right about now you’re all like, “Ellana, just suck it up and do it! What’s the worst that could happen?”

I’ll tell you exactly what will happen; Toxoplasmosis will mutate and spread to humans creating an unstoppable zombie hoard.  My daughter (not born yet or probably anytime soon) will obviously hold the cure in her DNA. She’ll be taken by an evil government agency and sacrificed ruthlessly in the name of science. Don’t think that any of you reading this will escape becoming zombies either. My pudding infused karma apocalypses are unstoppably thorough (much like me getting all the good achievements). All of this because I chose to sacrifice one, ONE little sister in BioShock instead of save her. 

Seriously kids, this stuff keeps me up at night.  If evil cowboys invade tomorrow, it would be my fault for killing one of the kind town folk in Red Dead Redemption, and although I never developed that allergy to pudding, I was severely punished by never being able to remember the capitals of Maine, Connecticut or New Hampshire.
So don’t judge me.  Remember, I’m sacrificing my achievement points for your well-being…..and that of my potential unborn daughter.