Apr 24, 8:00 am
In this blog post you will learn:
* That using year old mascara will troll the hell out of your eye
* Tyra Banks DOES speak the truth
* The sad pirate look will never be fashionable!
My story
For the life of me I couldn’t find the new mascara I just bought, so I resorted to using an old mascara I found buried at the bottom of my makeup drawer. I’m guessimating it at least a year old. I hesitated for a moment before putting it on; I remembered back when I watched a Tyra Banks episode about the dangers of using old makeup. Screw it! Since when did Tyra become a reliable source? I thought. I put on the mascara and went on my way. Translation: I went back to playing Kitchen Carnage for another 3 hours.
The next day
10am: Shower. Blow Dry Hair. Put on makeup, including my old mascara. I’m happy.
12pm: Shopping at the mall. Still happy.
3pm: I take a nap. Yay for naps!
5pm- I wake up from nap.
ME: ”JB did you punch me in my face while I was sleeping?”
JB: “ummm, noooo”
ME: “My eye hurts…maybe I punched myself in my sleep?”
6pm. “For real though, something is wrong with my eye”
8pm- “Shit, it looks like its swelling!”
10pm- “OMG I CAN’T BLINK OR CLOSE MY EYE…HELP!”
So you can see from the timeline the infection came on fast and strong… all because I ignored Tyra Banks wise words and decided to wear stupid old mascara (yes, I now think mascara is stupid.)
I knew it it was getting very bad when I started to think that the removal of my right eyeball sounded like a good solution. It was definitely time for me to see a doctor! She suggested that I wear that sad pirate eye patch for 24 hours, wash my eyelid often with baby shampoo, and take 3-4 antibiotic eye drops for the next 4 days. Thankfully, the eye drops kicked ass! By the next morning, my swelling resided and I was finally able to blink without having to scream, “””FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU!”
Moral of my story
Don’t be an asshole and do what Tyra suggest: Replace all your liquid makeups every 3 months (mascara, foundation, liquid eyeliner)
THE END.
P.S. It is also very important to wash your makeup brushes at least once a week. Because makeup cleaners can be expensive, I suggest making your own.
DIY Video Links
Squeaky Clean Brushes!
How To Make Homemade Brush Cleaner
More helpful links:
Daily Brush Cleaner
Germs lurking in old makeup: It isn’t pretty
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